Somewhere along the way, networking got a bad reputation. Maybe it’s the image of awkward small talk at stale conference mixers. Or the LinkedIn connection request that’s immediately followed by a sales pitch. Or the feeling that you’re supposed to use people to get ahead.

If that’s how networking feels, it’s no wonder so many professionals avoid it.

But real networking—the kind that actually works—isn’t about collecting contacts or “selling yourself.” It’s about building relationships. And it doesn’t have to feel forced, awkward, or transactional.

Here’s how to make professional connections in a way that feels natural, valuable, and even enjoyable.

Step 1: Reframe Networking (It's Not What You Think It Is)

If the word “networking” makes you cringe, it’s probably because you’re thinking about it the wrong way.

Most people assume networking is about:

• Asking for favors
• Pushing your agenda
• Collecting business cards like Pokémon

But the best networkers? They don’t approach relationships with a goal to “get” something. They focus on:

• Offering value first
• Finding common ground
• Building trust over time

Networking isn’t about making as many connections as possible. It’s about making the right connections in a way that actually lasts.

Step 2: Start Where You Already Have Connections

You don’t need to cold approach strangers at networking events to build a strong professional network. In fact, your best opportunities often come from people you already know.

Three Overlooked Places to Start Networking Naturally:

1. Your Existing Workplace
   • Your current colleagues (even outside your department) can introduce you to people in your industry.
   • Former coworkers often become future hiring managers, business partners, or mentors.
2. Alumni & Past Colleagues
   • Reach out to old classmates or coworkers—not to ask for a job, but just to reconnect.
   • A quick message like, “Hey, I saw you’re doing [something interesting]—I’d love to hear how things are going!” can lead to meaningful conversations.
3. Communities You’re Already Part Of
   • Industry Slack groups, LinkedIn communities, and even local meetups are full of professionals with shared interests.
   • Engaging in these spaces organically builds connections over time.

Your network isn’t just made up of people you meet at networking events. It’s built from the relationships you already have but may not be using effectively.

Step 3: The Right Way to Reach Out (Without Feeling Sleazy)

So you want to connect with someone new. Maybe it’s someone in a role you admire, or a leader in your industry. But how do you reach out without it feeling transactional or self-serving?

What Not to Do:

• The Instant Favor Ask – “Hi, I know we don’t know each other, but can you refer me for a job?”
• The Generic LinkedIn Request – “I’d like to add you to my professional network.” (That tells them nothing.)
• The Obvious Sales Pitch – “Hey, I noticed you’re in [industry]. Are you interested in [thing I’m selling]?”

What Works Instead:

• Make it about them – “I saw your post on [topic] and really liked your perspective. I’d love to learn more about your work.”
• Find common ground – “We both know [mutual connection]—they mentioned you were doing interesting work in [industry].”
• Keep it light – “I’m exploring [new field] and noticed you transitioned into it. Any advice for someone just getting started?”

People are more likely to respond when the approach feels genuine, specific, and non-pressuring.

Step 4: Build Relationships Before You Need Them

The worst time to start networking? When you need something.

The best networkers aren’t the ones who only reach out when they’re job-hunting. They’re the ones who stay in touch, add value, and show up consistently—even when they don’t need anything.

Ways to Stay on Someone’s Radar Without Being Annoying:

• Engage with their content – Comment on their LinkedIn posts or congratulate them on new achievements.
• Send helpful resources – If you come across an article or insight relevant to their work, share it with them.
• Check in periodically – A simple, “Hey, it’s been a while! Hope you’re doing well,” can go a long way.

If you build relationships consistently, then when you do need advice, an introduction, or career help, it won’t feel forced—it’ll feel natural.

Step 5: Networking Events Without the Awkwardness

Yes, in-person events still have value. But most people dread them because they feel like forced, awkward socializing.

The trick? Change your approach.

How to Make Networking Events Work for You:

• Go in with a plan. Instead of trying to “work the room,” set a goal to have three meaningful conversations.
• Look for other solo attendees. They’re usually the easiest to approach and more open to genuine conversation.
• Skip the small talk. Ask more interesting questions like:  
  • “What’s the most exciting thing you’re working on right now?”
  • “What’s the best advice you’ve ever received in your career?”
• Follow up the next day. A simple LinkedIn message saying, “Great meeting you yesterday! Let’s stay in touch,” keeps the connection alive.

Networking events don’t have to be about handing out business cards—they’re about finding the right people and making real connections.

Step 6: The Secret to Making Networking Feel Natural

If networking still feels uncomfortable, try this mindset shift:

Instead of asking, “How can this person help me?” ask, “How can I add value to this person?”

Ways to Add Value in a Networking Relationship:

• Share knowledge. If you’re an expert in something, offer insights that can help them.
• Make introductions. Connecting two people who could benefit from knowing each other is an easy way to strengthen your network.
• Be genuinely interested. Most people don’t get the chance to talk about their passions—being a great listener makes you memorable.

The best networking doesn’t feel like networking. It feels like two people helping each other out, learning from one another, and growing together professionally.

Final Thoughts: The Networking That Actually Works

Forget outdated networking advice that tells you to “sell yourself” or “work the room”. The strongest professional relationships are built through authenticity, curiosity, and value—not forced interactions.

The Networking Playbook:

1. Reframe networking as relationship-building. Stop thinking of it as transactional.
2. Start with people you already know. You don’t have to meet strangers to expand your network.
3. Reach out the right way. No generic messages, no immediate favors.
4. Stay connected before you need something. Relationships take time.
5. Change your approach to events. Focus on real conversations, not handing out cards.
6. Make networking about adding value. When you give first, good things come back.

Networking isn’t about collecting contacts. It’s about building real, lasting relationships—and that’s something anyone can do, even without the cringe.